Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Assassin's Manifesto to Monday Night Combat

I once read a player class' manifesto somewhere on a Team Fortress 2 forum. I distinctly remember a more popular one than the one I googled. But nevertheless, I think there's a need for assassins everywhere on America's most popular death sport of the future that does not exist yet except in game form, to understand key principles and ideologies in order to truly be considered an assassin.

I present to you the assassin's manifesto.

I am the assassin. I am invisible like the wind and also run like it.

I am not a machine of death. Victory does not demand blood but effort.

If I am to strike out at my target, it will be from beyond the gaze of his eyes.

I understand my cloak is not perfect. It is not a crutch for my stealth. It requires me as much as I require it.

I shall remember that my cloak allows me to be unseen but not unheard. It must be used to help me flank and nothing more than that.

My foes will never know of my presence until it's too late.

Honor is no concern for me. Strike when it's unfair and run when outmatched.

The front door may be guarded but no one watches the back except for me.

My foes know of my blade but do not expect my shurikens.

The tank is a mighty foe. Never approach him unless he has been weakened or outnumbered.

If the enemy builds defenses, I will dismantle them. So long as I am on the field, no base shall have walls.

I will always know where to escape and when to use it. I will never give my enemy any satisfaction.

When outright victory is not certain, I will confuse, confound, and frustrate my foes. An angry enemy is an inefficient enemy.

I go where I am not allowed and appear when I'm not wanted. My presence instills fear, anxiety, and anger.

Above all, I am the assassin. Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

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